Tuesday, Apr. 14, 2009 - 22:09

I'm going to go for the sarcastic understated hypocricy thing when I speak about the evening's football, mmm okay?

What an incredibly boring match between Chelsea and Liverpool this evening. Chelsea were 3-1 up from the first leg, and as a result they and Liverpool were happy to play out a nil-all draw. Sorry - did I say nil-all? I meant 4-4 :-)

Bit daft really - quite entertaining, and Liverpool kept themselves interested by going 2-0 up, then recovering from being 3-2 down on the night to lead 4-3 with a couple of minutes left. Admittedly they were never actually ahead on aggregate, but both teams gave it a good go. The other tie finished 1-1 between Bayern and Barca, and the Spanish go through 5-1 on aggregate to meet Chelsea in a fortnight.

Work today was a bit downtrodden by being told a remark that was made about me in my absence. On one hand I appreciate that the person who told me was just trying to be fair, but on the other hand I think ignorance would have been more blissful.

It's going to be a stressful few weeks forsure at work, what with working towards the big audit in mid May. I'm going to try to get as much done as is possible, but I imagine there'll be bits and bobs of headfuckiness.

Shouldn't matter, but is frustrating, in that a whole round I played on my golf game (getting back into it, though some of it is infuriating) seems not to have saved properly. This is a shame, because it was a time-consuming effort, but at the same time, I suppose I can easily repeat the performance - and quite possibly improve on it.

Didn't sleep very well last night at all, partly because of the fact I was worrying about air-shows and the fact I'm getting old and jaded and probably won't have a family. Hopefully tonight I'll find it easier to drop off. I'm certainly more knackered than I was yesterdiddle!

LISTENING TO:- because the black guy downstairs is playing some loud dance music with a headache-inducing bassline, and because I am feeling somewhat immature and unwilling to be civil to him, I've put on some loud industrial type stuff to drown out whatever he's playing. So a little Nine Inch Nails, Pitchshifter and Orgy has been thumping out..

Something someone else said today made me think about the extent to which one should live ones life for ones own satisfaction, and how much one should seek to make pleasing other people (parents, friends, spouses, offspring) a major part of your life.

I fully acknowledge that the interpersonal thing is pretty much something one should be doing, and that having children and touching the people we touch.. well that's the legacy we leave. But at the same time.. I'm aware that I'm quite motivated by pleasing myself. Not to the extent that I'm 'selfish', per se, and not to the expense of other people's right to live their life.. but..

I think there is an extent to which this was clarified in my mind by something I spoke about with my brother. He was critical of not looking after myself (losing weight was his thing at the time), but he didn't seem to say so because he was worried about me, moreso he reasoned that I shouldn't die before our parents, as that'd be a gross perversion of natural order.

I'm aware though that I'm just selfish and selfless in different ways to other peeps. I feel I've been a bit lacking in not living in a flat that can easily accomodate guests such as my parents and my brother's family. But at the same time, one could argue that I make more of a sacrifice and effort with my parents in how much I make an effort to stay close to my mum, calling her, constantly buying her music and making her tapes.. It's 'giving' in a different way to the way he does.

Jools Holland, then maybe a bit of golf on the xbox, then maybe I'll watch the footy highlights. Toodle-pip!