Sunday, Oct. 11, 2009 - 20:57

If only I had two arms. Then I could masturbate and suck my thumb at the same time.

Ordered a new phone today. After some indecision as to where I shall have it delivered, I've given them my work address, on the basis that I am there five of the six days that deliveries are usually made, that I'm usually not at home when the post comes, and there is someone reasonably trustworthy who'll sign for it at work most of the time anyhow. I'm not 100% sure though - there's a part of me which pessimistically thinks I'll be left with no phone and/or a bill for an expensive new one that's gone missing or has been stolen.

Britney Spears' singing about 'If You Seek Amy' is about as transparent an attempt to not particularly hide true meanings of mondegreens as 'Ebeneezer Goode'

Some people don't half make funny noises when they're having sex, you know. It's enough to make one laugh (which isn't recommended, if you're actually in flagrante delicto at that moment, and your partner is the one making the odd noises).

Got a few CDs and DVDs yesterday morning when having a mooch round town. The entirety of Series 3 of 'The X Files', Series 1 of 'Green Wing', a Belinda Carlisle single for 10p, and Tori Amos 'The Beekeeper'. Not a bad haul for a total of eighteen quid!

Met up yesterday with my ol' friend who I used to work with three or four years back. It was quite a nice afternoon's chatting and catching up, spoilt a little at the end by extending it maybe a round or two further than (with hindsight) was necessary. Plus I think the nachos I had for lunch disagreed with me. Co-incidentally on the way home from the pub after having left this old workmate, I met another workmate - the guy who'd held the same position in the company before the aforementioned friend, which was a 'small world' moment.

Tell you something, Nairn's oat biscuits with stem ginger don't half have a strong kick! I bought some earlier in the week, unsure whether they'd be savoury like oatcakes or sweet like biscuits.. they're nice though.

"She lowered her standards by raising her glass, her courage, her eyes and his hopes".

England lost 1-0 in Ukraine, due to a couple of doofus-like mistakes in defence (getting more frequent) putting us a man and a goal down. Elsewhere Rep ireland qualified for the playoffs by drawing 2-2 with Italy, but Northern Ireland look unlikely to join them due to other results (they'll have to hope for a result againt Czech Republic, and other scores in their favour).

I really should have tidied my flat up this weekend. My folks are down next weekend and because the place is a tip, I'll have to do bits and bobs during the evenings after work, and then get up early to do final stuff next Saturday. I can be a right lazy fuck at times :-)

Strictly last night was OK. Trouble is, what with Karen now gone, what with Ricky Whittle being a bit of a ringer, what with only really fancying Ali Bastian from the female celebs, and what with it being series number six or something.. well it's not quite as entertaining as I found it a couple of years back. I suppose that's the trouble with most series' which come back again and again.. everything has a lifespan.

I've got an annoying little sharp bit on the back of one of my teeth. It's like I've a bit of gristle stuck between my incisors, but there's nothing there in actuality. There's a funny rash on my ankle too, which is a mite worrying.

Stephen Gateley has been found dead in Spain. I could write something resembling a tribute, but I guess I'd say it best by not saying anything at all.

LISTENING TO:- Tori Motherfucking Amos, the newly acquired album of which ('The Beekeeper') is pretty much exactly as I expected. Some beautiful twiddlyness, a beautiful voice which occasionally verges on the caprine, and lyrical ginger kookiness to boot.

From NewsBiscuit - "The Government today introduced legislation requiring all incompetent and intellectually-challenged people to wear ‘S-plates’ on their front and rear to warn members of the public that the person they are approaching may say or do something stupid at any moment. Taking a lead from learner drivers who must display ‘L-plates’ on their vehicle, the scheme will require individuals to pass a rudimentary test before they can earn the status of ‘brain-owning citizen’, and should significantly reduce incidents of amazement at the ability of some people to act like prize dicks".