Sunday, May. 21, 2017 - 22:26

Because today threatened to be like yesterday if I didn't get my fat arse out of bed (and aforementioned fat arse showered and clothed - I did do the same to the rest of my body too, of course) by mid morning, I took myself in hand (this is not a masturbation joke) and walked in to town around half ten-ish. Getting a new phone was relatively painless - a nice Aussie (I think) lady helped me, and because I was relatively sure what I wanted because a nice Wulfrunian (I know) lady at work helped me, all was pretty quick. The set-up of my new phone when I got in was pretty easy too. Hey nonny noo.

I watched a couple of episodes of 'Peep Show' - the latest/last series which I've only seen through once. Whilst doing this, I ate some cheese sandwiches, with brown bread and my sister's plum and pepper (not sure whether it was capsicum or piperaceae as I didn't taste either) chutney. Wheat crunchies. Some things that were called 'baton bars' on the packet, but which were clearly marzipan battenburg fingers. The ones dipped in chocolate each end. Fucking marvellous.

Last night I did make a reasonable dent in that Peter May novel (the first in the Lewis series) and it's progressing pretty nicely. There's a fair amount of the setting and the past and all that - I'm reminded of family holidays in Scotland as a child myself (albeit this was in Orkney, not in the Hebrides). Speaking of north of the border, Brendan Rodgers's Celtic smashed records all year, unbeaten season (first since the 1800s) and 106 points and the same number of goals.

Namibia–Russia relations refers to the bilateral relationship between Namibia and Russia. Namibia has an embassy in Moscow and Russia has an embassy in Windhoek. Samuel Mbambo is the Namibian representative in Moscow, while Russia is represented in Windhoek by Nicolai Gribkov. The Soviet Union gave significant amounts of aid to the People's Liberation Army of Namibia (PLAN) during the Namibian War of Independence. Many leaders of the SWAPO movement in Namibia received guerrilla training in the Soviet Union. Among these were Hifikepunye Pohamba, Petrus Iilonga, Erkki Nghimtina and Ngarikutuke Tjiriange. With the end of South Africa's unpopular apartheid rule in Namibia in 1990, the Soviet Union and its successor state Russia established diplomatic relations with the country. In June 2009, Dmitry Medvedev became the first Russian head of state to visit Namibia. Medvedev was accompanied by Russian businessmen, with a view to sign deals on diamonds and energy.

Lisa McGrillis is nice, isn't she. Northern actress, Inspector George Gently innit. Not that I had the sound up - was pissing about online and only looked her up cause I wodered if she was one of the Buckfield's.

My memory of all the scores of past FIFA World Cup finals tournaments (going back to 1990, but with patchy coverage before then) is proving not as infallable as I might once have thought. The past three or four nights I have been trying to remember 2-2 draws and have been stuck and stymied by a lack of conviction in my own recollections. I was sure about England/Sweden 2006, England/Argentina 1998, Spain/South Korea 1994, Saudi Arabia/South Africa 1998, Sweden/Romania 1994, Yugoslavia/Germany 1998 and USSR/Scotland 1982. I had to check my recall was correct for Italy/Chile 1998, Cameroon/Sweden 1994, Mexico/Holland 1998 and USA/Portugal 2014. I'd forgotten (shamefully) Morocco/Norway 1998, Germany/Ghana 2014, Paraguay/South Africa 2002, Croatia/Australia 2006, Nigeria/South Korea 2010, Japan/Belgium 2002, Tunisia/Saudi Arabia 2006, Slovenia/USA 2010, Northern Ireland/Austria 1982 and probably countless more.

A Nimcha is a single-handed sword from northwestern Africa, especially Morocco and the western part of Algeria, a type of scimitar or saif. These blades are usually from the late 18th century onwards and are notable for often using older blades. Many nimcha have European blades from as early as the 17th century, and from as far away as Germany.[citation needed] With this variety of possible blade designs nimcha are distinct with the hilts that sport forward pointing quillions, and wooden handles with squared off "hooked" pommels. The cross guard will often have a knuckle guard which starts beneath the quillions and runs to the bottom of the pommel; on the opposite side of the hilt this path is normally continued into a 3rd quillion. These swords bear strong resemblances to the neighboring Arab.

Then about that barrow the battle-keen rode, atheling-born, a band of twelve, lament to make, to mourn their king, chant their dirge, and their chieftain honor. They praised his earlship, his acts of prowess worthily witnessed: and well it is that men their master-friend mightily laud, heartily love, when hence he goes from life in the body forlorn away. Thus made their mourning the men of Geatland, for their hero’s passing his hearth-companions: quoth that of all the kings of earth, of men he was mildest and most beloved, to his kin the kindest, keenest for praise.

Arsenal 3-1 Everton.
No Ross Barkley in the team for the visitors, Koeman probably irritated at the deadlock with respect to contract talks. Romelu Lukaku looking to overtake Harry Kane at the top of the scoring charts? The Gunners took an early lead, Ozil setting it up, Welbeck missing the ball, but Bellarin following in to score in the eighth. A key moment quarter of an hour in, Koscielney sent off for a bad tackle on Enner Valencia - big moment as he'll miss the cup final and also leaves his side short this afternoon. Barkley came on twenty-five gone to give his side better attacking chances against a disadvantaged side. However, Arsenal went even further ahead - Alexis Sanchez played in well by Welbeck to make it two. Perchance the blue half of Merseyside was happy to roll over and rob the red half of their city of top four hopes? Everton had a bit of attacking, Cech called in to action a few times, Barkley playing well and creating a bit. A bad injury early in the second for Gabriel who had to be stretchered off after his leg caught underneath him with his weight buckling his knee. Joel Robles a busy keeper, but with Liverpool winning it was somewhat moot. Lukaku got on the board from the penalty spot after Monreal's offence, his side mounting a fightback in the final half hour? Not really - in injury time Aaron Ramsay curled past Joel to give a nice end to a disappointing season. The first time in twenty-odd seasons that Arsenal missed out on the top four, which may herald the end of Wenger's long reign.

Burnley 1-2 West Ham United.
Claret and blue. Blue and claret. Plus some white. It's been a good season for Dyche's men, and a bit of a disappointing one for Bilic (maybe under pressure). A decent opening, even stuff, Burnley knew a win would lift them up a few places and earn them a few quid. Midpoint of the half, Andre Gray's cross perfect for Vokes (on the back stick) to turn home and give his side a deserved lead. They weren't ahead for long, Sofiane Feghouli equalising before the half hour - some nice quick passing and a sharp shot low into the corner past Heaton, there was a lovely Ayew back-heel in the build-up. Second half even, twenty minutes left and just as his brother scored a few hundred miles away, Andre Ayew put his side ahead - a bit of luck as a rebound off the bar fooled Haeton but not the Ghanaian man. The birds up above tell me that I'm [redacted] with you. Ooh. Ooh.

Chelsea 5-1 Sunderland.
Quite a nice atmosphere for the champions, a home game against a side unlikely to spring a party-pooping surprise. Bye bye John Terry. Early goal - Manquillo gave the visitors an early lead against the run of things, sleepy moments after the ball broke to him. Chelsea pressured and equalised in the eighth after putting pressure on the visitors defence, Willian getting the ball on target through a crowded box, Pickford should've saved it. John Terry was subbed twenty-six gone.. seemed sentimental rather than tactical/injury, there was an odd guard of honour delay moment which was all a bit contrived. O'Shea swang an arm after being caught by Costa with an elbow, not sure it was deliberate but it was painful. Chelsea moved onto things very more (huh? that didn't make sense?) and Hazard put them ahead after a bit of a mess in the box, this came shortly after Luiz came close to scoring. The game secured when the hosts got their third - Joleon Lescott heading the ball away from his keeper and Pedro heading home from a few feet (I didn't know that JL played for Sunderland, not a great full debut). Michy Batchuayi made it four late on to put some gloss on things, and then scored a second (a fifth) two minutes later. 93 points for the season, behind only themselves a few years ago in the highest Premier League total.

Hull City 1-7 Tottenham Hotspur.
It's a bit of a shame, in a sense, that this game has nothing riding on it w.r.t. league position (Hull guaranteed eighteenth, Spurs sure of second), but perchance shop window type places being played for. Kane's scoring prolific, he netted his 27th goal from thirty league games, left footed from twenty. Like in the week, he scored a second in about as many minutes - Trippier's cross finding the Englishman to score from inside the six yard box (isn't that four goals in the last fifteen or twenty playing minutes?). Spurs were playing some lovely stuff, but the third didn't come till injury time in the first half, Dele Alli played in by some lovely passing. In the second half an improving Hull got on the score sheet - Lloris irritated to have his sheets sulled by Clucas's strike after the hour, Hull's home crowd given a moment to cheer. They shut up soon after when Eriksen's free kick found Wanyama at the far post to convert from close range. A second very impressive away performance in a few days, Kane completed his hat-trick with eighteen remaining, a good run, he's been splendid this season - there have been six hat-tricks in the PL since the turn of the year, and Kane has scored four of them. He was replaced by Janssen, and Ben Davies lashed in Spurs's twelfth goal in a week to make it six. Toby Alderweireld made it seven (SEVEN) with three left - Spurs the first team to score seven away in the Premier League. Marco Silva will probably move on.

Leicester City 1-1 AFC Bournemouth.
Do foxes eat cherries? Apparently red foxes do eat fruits in autumn. Is there an Aesop's Fable about this? That was grapes, I believe. An early goal here, Mousso's shot rebounded to Stanislas who netted in the first minute. Gosling almost made it two, well denied by Schmeichel diving to deny. The home side got more into the game, both Slimani and Yohan Benalouane coming close. Five into the second, Vardy equalised for the hosts from close range after Slimani's knock-down from Chilwell's cross. Vardy had the ball in the net soon after another Slimani pass but it was ruled out for offside. Leicester were looking the likelier, banging on the door, Bournemouth finishing top half (ninth) must be seen as a gigantic achievement by Eddie Howe and his team. Leicester mid table, which considering their relegation form earlier in the season must be considered decent, despite the fact they fell well short of last year's mad heights.

Liverpool 3-0 Middlesbrough.
Liverpool knew a win would ensure they'd finish top four and have Champions League football next year, Arsenal snapping at their heels. You'd have to expect Boro not to have enough, as much as it pains me to say. Boro had a few moments, Downing's free kick cannoned against the wall - will he help Middlesbrough's promotion efforts next year, I hope so. Bamford brought down, no penalty. Liverpool with lots of shots, very few of which were anywhere near troubling Guzan in his goal. Lovren hoofed the ball behind just after George Friend's backheel in the opposition box. Middlesbrough giving a really good account of themselves, offering it at both ends. Just before the break, a vital goal, Georginho Wijnaldum running from deep and unleashing a powerful shot that beat Guzan at his near post - at half time Man City and Liverpool occupying third and fourth. Five into the second, Liverpool relieved to score a second, Coutinho with a lovely free kick that beat Boro's American keeper. Number three via Lallana with the tension released at Anfield, you couldn't see Boro fighting back from that. The final half hour was controlled rather than celebratory, some threat from Boro, who knows how many of their players they'll keep. Part of me regrets they didn't give it more of a go this season, but then again, no point in bankrupting yourselves.

Manchester United 2-0 Crystal Palace.
Quite a few changes made by Mourinho with the Europa League final ahead - Joel Pereira, Demetri Mitchell, Scott McTominay and Josh Harrop handed league debuts, and Angel Gomes (16yrs) on the bench. One of the kids had a dream debut, a lovely dribble and fine cut in and twat home from Josh Harrop. United went two up midway through the half with a Pogba goal, he's been a bit disappointing this season, for all that money.. but he scored this afternoon. Pogba and Lingaard came off just before the break, and this might be Rooney's last league match for United? Palace were hanging in there a bit, Allardyce will have been somewhat disappointed to see how little his side were offering threat against a half-inexperienced United hosts. Rooney was subbed off with a few minutes left, quite a lot of applause - is this his last game for United? Young man Angel Gomes came on - the first player born in the 2000s to play in the Premier League. A bit of a nothing of an afternoon, focus for Mourinho on the Europa League final in the week.

Southampton 0-1 Stoke City.
Not much to decide here, two sides a little below par this season, they both have slipped somewhat from where they finished a year ago. The opening was a bit lacking in urgency - this sort of game can go either way.. something something BOOB SAUSAGE. Saints will want to better B'mouth's result and stay ahead of them. Shaqiri fired over, had he been a bit less of a midget he might've been able to reach it. Wing backs having a real go, either side looked as likely as each other. The only game without a goal after forty-five, perchance unsurprisingly, though we had a bar hit. The pitch was mowed with some lovely and swirly circles, super doops. The last game without a goal got one just before the hour, ex-Saint Peter Crouch in the right place and very capable, heading home Cameron's cross. The game pootled to the end, this would very likely the last on MOTD tonight. It's so you can see it says 'barbecue'.

Swansea City 2-1 West Bromwich Albion.
Boing boing baggies have been a bit poor of result recently, they could stamp on a 'relieved to have survived' party at The Liberty Stadium. West Brom went close with Rondon, the Venezuelan works hard but doesn't score much. Half hour gone, the midlands side ahead when Jonny Evans headed home a corner, I like the WBA black away kit with electric blue trim/pinstripe. The second half was something something, Swansea giving it a go, but trailing still. Midway through the second, an equaliser - Sigurdsson's free kick, a bit of a flick, Jordan Ayew at the far end of things able to turn home. Five from the end, a possible winner by the Welsh side - Fernando Llloorrrrente with a delightful goal, the Spaniard volleying home to complete a come-back. Looking at the half-season form, Swansea were behind only the established top seven in form, Paul Clement did a very good job here.

Watford 0-5 Manchester City.
Walter Mazzarri on his way out, whereas Guadiola looking for a point to secure third place and avoid a UCL play-off. Early on, City went ahead, Vince Kompany heading home from a nice cross. The lads in pale blue were looking pretty damned fine, they went two up through Aguero with the Argentine racing through and finishing more clinically than a pharmacist. The two goals both set up by Kevin de Bruyne. Ten before the break, Sane outdid Janmaat, crossed well for Sanchez to make it three. Watford rolling over and letting their opponants do them hard - four before the break after Fernandinho lashed it in. Watford's injuries and motivation robbing them of quality. A break early in the second when a house martin (was it Fat Boy Slim? I thought he was a Brighton fan?) on the pitch interrupted the play. Gabriel Jesus got his name on the score-sheet from Aguero's cross, he's a really very good player and he got the fifth before the hour mark, there will be many more for the young man. Heurelio Gomes picked up an injury (was he throwing in the towel?) and had to be replaced. City took their foot off the gas somewhat in the second half.